In the distance

In the distance I see a spark,
A tenuous promise of lucent days.
In complete darkness,
I close my eyes and see the blaze.

In a fugue state,
Rays of prayer press me past dire nights.
As I stumble through a broken path,
Only illuminated by the floodlights.

In the distance I see a flicker,
A second of delight in dark hours.
Enraptured by the desire,
To find the calyx in a flower.

When faced with the faceless,
I look away and fall back on my frame of reference.
In times like this,
Must peer aside and clutch barbs of severance.

In the distance,
I see something,
But the darkness won’t let me articulate.
So sick of faith.
Trying to build a house of hope,
But all I have is bricks of hate.

When I write,
I want everything to be right.
In my mind I strain to see the light but grow detached from insight.

Must curb frustration,
In strings of fate, I search for bliss
Towards the truth is where I aim,
But everyday I’m scared to miss.

In desperation,
Pillars of belief crumble to dust.
I strain for concise sight,
But my eyes stay shut to avoid the gust.

When I write,
I find hope in empty husks and shreds of salvation.
In dark nights,
A shining star my only consolation.

Can't help but look closer in a state of limbo.
Without release I face the truth,
No longer masked by the haze.
In purgatory I lace reality,
Trapped in my mind ,
I wander the maze.

A shrill cry can be heard at night,
Void of light it reflects the stale.
From within,
Minimal depth of field in the grayscale.

I take off my spectacles,
No longer in the clutch of the tentacles.
Thought I'd see clearly,
Distinctly,
Can't even speak succinctly.

So many thoughts in my mind,
But they tenaciously construct barriers to relief.
Cloaked by grief,
No release,
Close my eyes and turn a new leaf.

No matter what I keep searching.
It's like nothing matters but these answers.

Must ask questions,
From my goal I never stray.
To fill the void,
Because this feeling, never, goes away.

I feel lost, desperate for direction.
Examine the path, thru cross section.
Make my own meaning,
To find fragments of truth in grains of essence.

Can never stop,
Until I'm out, of empty pages.
Until this storm reaches its cadence.
Until the act is done,
And the fury no longer rages.

In times like this, I remember my path has barely commenced,
Reverse the tense, honing skills to clutch the sixth sense.

Must purge anxiety,
Express my voice with no fear of society.
Because on any given day,
I may face the calamity.

All I have left,
Is the urge to find my voice.
Must transcend the material,
To walk the path of the ethereal.

This feeling never goes away
In light of darkness
I find brittle balance amongst the fray
Close my eyes
Shards of hope for a better day

I can't explain this feeling
Rise from the ground n stare up to the ceiling
I stand strong
But in my mind I'm still kneeling

I always ask myself
Why do I need to escape?
Reach for the relief valve
Let go of insulation
Detached from my inner state

Inclined to shine.
Inside my mind I lie confined
I hate this feeling
A piece of mine I must find

Each step you tread conceals a burden you may not measure
Wary of the devils deal,
a pound of pain for an ounce of pleasure

what you give,
you'll recieve,
expect nothing more,
nothing less

But be prepared to lose it all if you dont value what you posess

What is spoken holds no weight
When they dont look you in the eyes
Words can be decieving
But the iris never lies

Look toward to the horizon
But all you'll see is isolation
The dawning sun confirming
Your futile anticipation

Some nights I look to the stars
And feel that's where I should be.
Detached from all the destitution,
The agony and misery.

To peer inside and see what's true,
Not an easy thing to do.
When all that's left are broken shadows,
That once defined you.

Seeking answers in a world of questions.
Incomplete just like the crescent,
Ever since, my adolescence.
So I measure my essence by my progression.

I turn to you,
In the desolation,
When little else resounds.
When all I feel is nothingness,
Oblivious to here and now.

So much to say,
But scared to say it the wrong way.
Led astray,
Towards the dawn, is how I pray.

Every day,
I wake up, to my dismay.
All I see are, trails of grey that never fail to prey

On my mental physique,
Every waking thought, I critique.
No pillars for support,
Just dark clouds to seethe the bleak,

In purgatory.
Struggling to cipher new forms,
To purge new norms.
There cannot be two skies,
But only two storms

Where to look for inspiration,
When devoured by speculation?
Can't find my motivation when overwhelmed by frustration.

To draw upon an empty fountain,
To find words to move a mountain,

Can't look above must move forward,
Can't help but feel cornered.
Because I refuse to reliquinish my right
To not do, what I'm ordered.

A lone wolf, brash and reclused, but not obtuse
I spill truths,
Around the neck of lies,
Lies my noose.

Waves of an ocean,
Swarm within me,
Wheels in motion.
Unhinge your preconceived notions n leave your dreams broken,

A life of falsities.
Day to day,
Nothing but alter-eges.
Just a cult of sheep,
Sometimes I wish life
Had a Control Alt Delete.